it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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