And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
