So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
