My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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