Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
