im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
