don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
