WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
