I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize