I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
