Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
