do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
