I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
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We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
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she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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