found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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