Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
