So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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