There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
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My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
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When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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