if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
What a dumb baby whore.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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