idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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