You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
