what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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