fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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