They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
