My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
cat food counts as protein by the way
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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