There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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