You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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