we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
