I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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