I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
