last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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