It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
