Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
