The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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