Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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