Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
