Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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