Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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