..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
