I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
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So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
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I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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