is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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