I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
