I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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