Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
high people should be assigned attendants
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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