we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
