I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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