I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
