can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
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they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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