I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize