i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
zippers are such a cool invention
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
All the doctor said was why
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
