FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.