Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
