TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
