For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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