WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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