I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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