Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
