Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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