I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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